I may sound a bit facetious, but bear with me, it’s my way of coping. I mean, how do you handle the responsibility of becoming parent/guardian/caregiver to your own parent? I could mention the gut wrenching fear I experienced, when I noticed the first signs of forgetfulness, or the increasing reliance on my opinion or decision making/problem solving abilities. I could also mention the fact that between work, Bible School, and elder sitting, I felt I no longer had a life, or I could take it one day at a time, knowing that “all things work together for good for they who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28)
Screeech … this is keeping-it-real-for-God blog … so that’s what I’m going to do.
I anguished over wrapping my brain around the fact that my example of a woman of faith and a strong black woman was now depending on me for assistance to make the smallest of decisions. Even more worrying than my inability to cope was the ever present guilt with which I dealt.
As much love as I had and still have for my parent, the insidious question that I’m sure has been asked by many an offspring in my situation, kept rearing its head no matter how I tried to restrain it, There are six of us alive, why me? I’m the baby!” The one time when I figure being the baby should work for me …and it doesn’t. (Don’t act like I’m the only one).
Then one day, during the occasional rant I allowed myself, I was outpouring to a co-worker and received some news that was the equivalent of a lifeline to a drowning man, going down for the third time! She had recently been in the same situation with her parent and had a name and phone number at her fingertips to an agency that exists just to assist people like me.
The agency is called Area Agency for the Aging. Check the phone book or do an online search via the AARP Web site. They provide assistance, (monetary), guidance (one-on-one in-home consultations) and referrals (to nearby senior homes for activities and Agencies that supply home attendants).
For those who thrive on it … a support group or two might be found posted at your local library or on the web. In addition, I found this nifty little article from AARP. Although geared to Maine residents, it addresses the situation nicely…
Assessing the Situation:
How Do I Know if They Need Help?
- Physical Health.
- Mental Health.
- Medication Use
- Daily Living Skills
- Support Systems
- Appearance and Hygiene
- Finances
- Interests/Lifestyles
As for me, I prefer to sing, write or rant about it. I’ll eventually get around to praying about it. We always (and I say we, because it helps to have an inclusive feeling when I know I’m dead wrong…lol) leave the best for last …don’t we? When in essence “we” know we should fret about nothing and pray about everything.
Peace,
Dee
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